Ever felt like someone was trying to control what you think or how you act? Did they do that by being too charming, or perhaps they twisted the truth that made you doubt yourself. In simple words, that’s manipulation. And the person doing it? They’re a manipulator. Manipulation is the sneaky art of influencing someone and it is usually done for selfish reasons. But here we have a fun twist. What if you could turn the tables? What if you knew how to manipulate a manipulator?
To do that, you don’t have to be sneaky or dishonest. It’s more more about staying smart, confident, and in control. In this guide we will dive into what manipulation really means, discuss what a manipulator looks like, and how you can flip the game in your favor.
What is Manipulation?
Before we learn how to manipulate a manipulator, let’s have a basic understanding of manipulation. The ‘manipulate’ definition is pretty simple. It’s the art of influencing someone in a skillful or sometimes unfair way to get what you want. However, not all manipulation is bad. For instance, if you convince a friend to study by reminding them how much better they’ll feel after an exam isn’t harmful. On the other hand, when someone manipulates you to control or hurt you, it then becomes a problem.
What Is A Manipulator?
Manipulators can be found anywhere. They could be a friend, a partner, or even someone in your family. Getting the answer to what is a manipulator does get tricky as most often they seem very nice at first. They might charm you, shower you with compliments, and even make you feel special. However soon, you may notice that they’re not all they seem. A manipulator would start twisting your words and even make you doubt your decisions. Additionally, they may even start using guilt to get their way.
12 Ways To Manipulate a Manipulator
So, how do you manipulate a manipulator? It starts with recognizing these behaviors. Once you know their tricks, you can flip the script. Here’s how:
1. Manipulate a Manipulator With Charm
A manipulator might look charming, however they aren’t trustworthy. Manipulators often use charm as their first strategy. They’ll try to flatter you, make you feel great. When they succeed, they will slowly start to bend you according to their will. Things might seem perfect to you however, probably you are being fooled.
- How to Flip It: To manipulate a manipulator who plays with charm, you would need to match their charm. Additionally, don’t become blinded. Staying skeptical and keeping a watch for signs that something might be off is important. For instance, if they keep complimenting you but avoid answering your direct questions; that’s indeed a red flag. Stay friendly, but don’t loose your guard.
2. Keep Records To Manipulate A Liar
Ever met someone who’s really good at lying & denying? Manipulators are experts at twisting the truth and even denying things they’ve said or done. Moreover, they’ll make you question your memory or even your sanity.
- How to Flip It: Keep records of things they say or do. It might sound boring, however it’s a super effective. More so, if you have a text message or an email that shows what was really said, it becomes much harder for them to twist the story. When needed, calmly show them the evidence, and don’t let them wiggle out of it.
3. Learn How to Manipulate a Narcissist
Manipulators often think the world revolves around them and show tendencies of a narcissist. Due to their self-obsession, they will steer every conversation back to themselves. You might find your needs getting lost due to this.
- How to Flip It: Understanding how to manipulate a narcissist isn’t really complicated. Let them talk about themselves. People undoubtedly love that. You can then gently steer the conversation back to your own requirements. For example, if they are discussing their problems, listen and acknowledge them, then say something like, “That’s tough. I’m dealing with something similar…” It’s a subtle way to keep the focus balanced.
4. Be Patient To Manipulate A Manipulator Who Uses Silent Treatment
The silent treatment is one of the favorites among tactics used manipulators. They use it to punish you by cutting off communication and then hope you’ll beg for their attention.
- How to Flip It: Don’t play the into their hands if you aren’t in the wrong. Be patient and don’t let their silence get to you. Stay focused, and let them come to you. However, try to make amends when their silence is justified and you know you made a mistake.
5. Write It When They Gaslight You
Manipulators are experts in making you question your own reality. They’ll not only twist facts, deny things, but also make you wonder if you’re the crazy one. Known as gaslighting, this tricks works pretty well in their, but can also be really cruel.
- How to Flip It: Keep a journal. Write down what actually happens and how you feel when that happens. Also write what was said. This way, you not only have a solid reference when they try to twist the truth but it also helps you stay confident in your own reality.
6. Don’t Be Emotionally Vulnerable
Manipulators often target those who are emotionally vulnerable and weak. They seek out people who are easier to control and thus they’ll use their emotions against them.
- How to Flip It: Become emotionally resilient. This doesn’t mean you should stop feeling emotions, but rather, keep a watch when someone’s trying to use them against you. Show strength and confidence so manipulators don’t get to see your vulnerable side.
7. Call Out Passive-Aggressive Behavior
Being passive-aggressive is also a kind of manipulation but in disguise. This way, manipulators use sarcasm, backhanded compliments, or take subtle digs to get under your skin.
- How to Flip It: Call the behavior out directly. If someone makes a passive-aggressive comment, respond to it calmly but be clear. For example, if a manipulator says, “Wow, must be nice to have so much free time,” you could reply, “It is nice, but I worked hard to manage my time well.” If they are doung subtle jab, don’t let them go unchecked.
As manipulation is all about mind games, how about discussing more about the organ that plays the role of our mind? It’s undoubtedly the brain. Let’s check out these surprising brain facts and discover how powerful our brains are!
8. Ask Questions When They Play Dumb
Manipulators are often seen playing dumb to avoid blame when they’re caught doing something wrong. They’ll pretend they didn’t understand or claim they didn’t know better.
- How to Flip It: Ask them direct questions that will force them to take responsibility. For instance, instead of saying, “Why did you do that?” just ask, “What was your plan when you decided to do that?” It becomes much harder for them to avoid responsibility when asked a direct question.
9. Manipulate a Manipulator Who Ignores Your Feelings
A manipulator might downplay or outright dismiss your feelings. It could be manipulation in a relationship or outside. They would thus make you feel like they’re not important by saying things things like, “You’re overreacting,” or “Why be so sensitive?”
- How to Flip It: Just stand firm in your emotions. Make use of “I” statements to express how you feel, and don’t let them dismiss you. A strong way to assert your emotion can be by saying, “I feel hurt when you ignore my feelings.”
10. Guilt Trips and Gaslighting
Another classic manipulation trick is guilt-tripping. Through this, the manipulator will make you feel bad for setting boundaries or for not doing what they want. When you combine this with gaslighting; you have a recipe for serious self-doubt.
- How to Flip It: To counter that, you need to stay grounded in the facts. By not letting them twist your emotions or the truth, you can manipulate a manipulator who uses these tactics. Furthermore, if they try to guilt you, calmly state your reasons and then stick to them. More so, if they gaslight you, you can always refer back to your journal or other evidence and remind yourself of the truth.
11. Isolating You from Others
Another common manipulator tactic is that they isolate yourself from your loved ones. By doing this they become your only source of support and thus it becomes easier for them to control you.
- How to Flip It: By keeping your connections strong and making time for friends and family, you can counter that. They will try to pull you away, however don’t forget you are on the mission to manipulate a manipulator. Build a solid support network because it is your best defense against isolation tactics however stay away from wrong advisors.
12. Open Criticism and Judgment
You will often find manipulators criticizing or judging you openly. They might be doing that hoping to chip away at your self-esteem. You may find them making fun of your choices or mocking your ideas. Such a manipulator might also be seen belittling your achievements.
- How to Flip It: You can counter this behavior by responding with confidence. Also, you shouldn’t forget that their criticism often says more about them than it does about you. Therefore, all you need to do is stand tall and don’t let their judgments shake your confidence. You must also respond calmly yet assertively. It will show them that you’re not easily swayed by their negativity.
Why Should You Manipulate a Manipulator?
Understanding how to manipulate a manipulator won’t just help you protect yourself, it will also allow you to maintain your self-respect and mental health. Furthermore, when you know how to spot manipulation and how to counter it, you’re less likely to get caught in their web. Without a doubt, the more you practice these strategies, the better you’ll get at standing up for yourself. Soon, there will come a time when you will be able to tackle anyone who tries to manipulate you.
Manipulate a Manipulator: In Brief
So here we have it. Now you do know how to manipulate a manipulator. Staying aware of their tactics and being smart but not sneaky is the key to success. Manipulation is indeed all about control and you have to remember that. You can take back control of the situation by having knowledge of their moves.
You can use charm when they use charm and stay calm when they lie. Also, remember to stand firm when a manipulator tries to shake your confidence. You don’t have to play dirty. By just staying one step ahead you can easily counter a manipulator.
So, next time you feel someone’s trying to pull your strings, make use of these tips. Ask yourself, “How do you manipulate a manipulator?” There on, just flip the script in your favor and take control.
