Parents will tell you that having children is one of the most rewarding things in life. If you are already a parent, then you are aware of how fulfilling this journey can be.
There is no doubt that you have your moments of pride and joy. You may even have some deep bonding that gives you a rush of dopamine and more! But, for all its ups, there is no denying that being a parent comes with its own set of challenges.
After all, just like every parent, you want what is best for your child. This includes raising them in a way that allows them to turn into well-rounded, successful, and kind adults. And as they grow up, they will be ready to do the same for their own children.
But this is easier said than done and most parents end up being overwhelmed in their quest to figure out what is ‘best’ for their little one. This is where parenting styles come in.
They play a significant role in how you approach the responsibility of nurturing and raising a child. There are numerous philosophies and different methods that you can always try out. But first, you need to understand each one of these styles, from authoritative parenting to a permissive style. This will help you figure out which one works best for you.
The Four Parenting Styles
A renowned name in the field of developmental psychology, Diana Baumrind, changed the way people viewed parenting back in the 1960s. She conducted various observational studies on the topic. This gave her room to explore how various parenting methods and approaches influenced the development of children.
Diana’s Research
As a result of her research, Diana was able to identify three primary styles of parenting, namely authoritarian, permissive, as well as authoritative parenting. Later on, researchers began to expand on her work and incorporated a fourth style, which is often referred to as neglectful or uninvolved parenting.
Consequently, Diana went on to highlight the crucial influence of parents on the academic, social, and emotional growth of their children. Her findings primarily focused on the importance of balancing the demands and responsiveness of parents in the approaches they use.
At this point, the authoritative parenting style emerged as a popular approach. This was mainly because this particular method of parenting helps achieve the right balance that children need. Today, the framework developed by Diana remains a cornerstone in parenting research and is often used to guide practices in this day and age. Let’s take a closer look at the various parenting styles that she introduced to the world.
Authoritarian Parents
Think of these as the “because I said so” parents. Authoritarian parents are all about discipline and structure, with sky-high expectations for their kids. But here is the catch; they are not exactly warm and fuzzy. At the end of the day, it is all about rules and obedience, which often comes without much room for understanding the individual needs or feelings of their children.
Permissive Parents
On the other hand, permissive parents are super laid-back. They are great at being supportive and loving. But when it comes to boundaries, they do not make much of an effort to set any. It is like an all-you-can-do buffet for their kids. This means that the rules they set are optional for their children to follow, and discipline is pretty much nonexistent.
Uninvolved Parents
These are the hands-off parents. They are not very demanding, but they are also not super responsive. They might take a “kids will figure it out on their own” approach, which can sometimes feel like they are more spectators than participants in the lives of their own children.
Each style of parenting comes with its quirks, and no parent is locked into just one category. At the end of the day, it is all about finding balance, right? This is where authoritative parenting comes in.
What Is Authoritative Parenting?
The authoritative style of parenting is often believed to be the gold standard. This is because it strives to strike a balance between fostering a nurturing and open relationship with your child and setting firm boundaries.
Authoritative parents are known for their ability and drive to set clear rules and expectations but are also empathetic and responsive to the needs of their children. They encourage open communication and allow children to understand the reasoning behind rules, as opposed to merely enforcing them without explanation.
Consequently, many researchers and psychologists believe that authoritative parenting is the right balance between permissive and authoritarian parenting styles. It blends the best of both worlds to pave the way for you and your child to have a harmonious and healthy relationship.
Is Authoritative Parenting An Effective Approach?
While there is no universal parenting style that guarantees perfect results, authoritative parenting has consistently been linked to positive outcomes in children. Its effectiveness stems from its balanced approach, which combines structure with warmth.
On this note, various studies have highlighted its benefits in areas such as creativity, self-esteem, problem-solving, and overall life satisfaction.
Studies That Support Authoritative Parenting
For example, A study in 2015 found that children raised with authoritative parenting tended to display higher levels of creativity. In addition, another study conducted in 2020 revealed that an authoritative style of parenting tends to lead to increased satisfaction in life in young people, particularly those aged between 14 and 29.
In 2021, a research study further suggested that one of the authoritative parenting effects is that children often feel a positive impact. Consequently, it boosts self-esteem and enhances their ability to take on new and difficult challenges in life.
There is no denying that authoritative parents nurture their children’s independence while maintaining a strong sense of discipline. As a result, this approach to parenting helps children grow into confident, well-rounded individuals, who are capable of navigating the complexities in life with resilience and flexibility.
Does authoritative parenting sound like something you would want to pursue? Of course! So, let’s dive deeper into it and learn more about its characteristics, examples, and all the pros and cons of authoritative parenting.
The Key Traits Of Parents Who Adopt An Authoritative Approach
Much like any other approach, parents following an authoritative style have a couple of defining characteristics in common. These stand to distinguish them from other parents and their methods.
Some of these characteristics may include the following.
- Encouraging Independence: While authoritative parenting is all about providing guidance, it also makes room to give children a certain degree of independence. As a result, such parents allow their children to make choices and experience the consequences, which eventually fosters independence.
- Clear And Open Communication: Parents who follow this approach ensure their expectations are well-defined and take the time to explain the reasoning behind the rules.
- Consistency: The discipline implemented by authoritative parents is fair and consistent. This helps create a sense of security for the child and paves the way for predictability.
- Empathy and Support: They are attentive to the emotions of their children and validate their feelings without making any compromises on boundaries.
- Focus On Respect And Fairness: Respect is a two-way street in an authoritative parenting style, with parents modeling the behavior they expect from their children.
The Pros Of Authoritative Parenting
By now, you can also agree that the pros of authoritative parenting cannot be ignored. After all, this approach to parenting is celebrated and appreciated for producing empathetic, resilient, and confident children, who are a welcome addition to society.
So, without further ado, let’s take a closer look at what benefits parents and children can reap from an authoritative style of parenting.
1. Accountability
Children raised by authoritative parents are taught how to take responsibility for their actions. By encouraging autonomy, parents successfully empower their children to make thoughtful decisions and develop essential life skills.
At the end of the day, these children are less likely to succumb to peer pressure and more likely to thrive independently. This also enables them to develop a strong sense of self-worth and distinguish between right and wrong.
2. Strong Social Skills
As aforementioned, one of the primary traits of authoritative parents is to prioritize mutual communication and respect. This allows such parents to raise children who are adept at forming lasting and positive relationships with peers, teachers, as well as other adults.
Consequently, these social skills allow them to thrive, whether in personal or professional contexts. It also enables them to form an identity with everyone they meet and enjoy all kinds of social settings.
3. Resilience
In households where parents follow an authoritative approach, failures are simply seen as learning opportunities in households where parents follow an authoritative approach. As a result of this style, children develop resilience as they learn to bounce back from setbacks. This further paves the way for them to gain confidence in their ability to overcome challenges.
In addition, authoritative parenting prepares your child to remain steadfast in the face of adversity without faltering. Their strength becomes a true testament to their experiences and struggles, as well as their achievements.
4. Leadership Abilities
As discussed above, parents who raise their children in an authoritative environment tend to encourage open and clear communication. This means that children can voice their own opinions and respect the perspectives that others have.
It is due to this balance that your little ones raised on an authoritative parenting style will go on to become confident decision-makers. Furthermore, this decisiveness will open doors to numerous opportunities for them.
5. Academic Achievements And Success
Authoritative parents believe in supporting their child’s education without any micromanaging. By fostering a love for learning and providing resources and guidance, they are successfully able to help their children develop strong study habits and achieve academic success.
In addition, they tend to nurture their children’s passions and encourage them to pursue fields of study and careers as they wish.
By now, you must have gotten an idea of how beneficial authoritative parenting can be for both, parents and children. But the pros and cons of authoritative parenting go hand in hand. Now, let’s take a look at what happens on the other side.
The Cons Of Authoritative Parenting
There is no denying that authoritative parenting is well-known for being one of the most effective approaches. However, it does come with certain challenges that you should be aware of. Continue reading to learn more about authoritative parenting cons.
1. Time-Intensive
Implementing an authoritative style of parenting requires patience and consistency. Parents do not have a choice but to invest significant time in understanding the unique needs and emotions of their child and build a bond based on open and honest communication.
2. Handling Rebellion
Even in authoritative households, children may go through phases of rebellion or apathy. These moments can be particularly frustrating for parents who have high expectations and work hard to create a nurturing environment.
3. Trial And Error
There is no one-size-fits-all formula for parenting. And authoritative parents understand that. This is why they often need to experiment with strategies to find what works best for their family.
Despite these challenges, the long-term benefits of authoritative parenting make the effort worthwhile.
How Does Authoritative Parenting Work?
If you want a better understanding of how this method of parenting works, there are some authoritative parenting examples that are often used in real life.
- Screen Time: Authoritative parents set reasonable limits on screen time, after careful consideration of the individual needs of their children and their age. They involve the child in creating these rules, which fosters a sense of ownership.
- Play Dates: Children raised with authoritative parenting understand that responsibilities, such as chores or homework, must be completed before social activities.
- Food Choices: While they set healthy eating guidelines, these parents also allow their children to make small choices, such as preparing their own snacks.
- Anxiety: If a child feels anxious about attending an event, authoritative parents validate their feelings and offer support while encouraging them to step outside their comfort zone.
- Rebellion: A teenager caught drinking alcohol is encouraged to discuss the situation honestly. Parents offer guidance and impose fair consequences, which enables them to maintain trust and accountability.
How Can You Be An Authoritative Parent?
Adopting an authoritative parenting style takes effort, patience, and a solid plan. But as it is evident from the pros and cons of authoritative parenting, the effort is worth it. Keep in mind that this approach helps build a nurturing yet structured environment where children can thrive.
Here is how you can put it into practice with some real-world authoritative parenting examples.
1. Praise Positive Behavior
Children respond exceptionally well to recognition. Make sure to provide encouragement and acknowledgment when you catch your child doing something right. For example, they could be sharing with a sibling, finishing homework without being asked, or being kind to a friend.
A simple “Great job cleaning up!” or “I’m proud of how you handled that situation” can work wonders. Positive reinforcement not only boosts their confidence but also motivates them to repeat those good behaviors.
Over time, they will naturally gravitate toward actions that earn them praise.
2. Set Clear Expectations
Clarity is key when it comes to rules. Instead of vague instructions like “Be good,” be as specific as possible. For example, “We do not yell in the house because it disrupts everyone’s peace” helps children understand both the rule and the reason behind it.
Only you can make sure to list expectations and let your child know what you want from them. This includes cleaning up toys after playtime or not interrupting when someone is speaking. In addition, be clear about the consequences of not following the rules so there is no confusion later.
3. Stay Empathetic
Discipline does not have to be harsh; it can be empathetic and effective at the same time. Take a moment to validate their feelings when your child is upset. Instead of saying, “Stop crying, it is not a big deal,” try, “I see that you are really upset about this. Let’s talk about it.”
Remember, validating their emotions does not mean you are agreeing with bad behavior. Instead, it shows that you care and understand where they are coming from.
At the end of the day, empathy builds trust and strengthens your relationship. This makes discipline feel less like punishment and more like guidance.
The Bottom Line
Authoritative parenting emphasizes a harmonious balance of structure and support. By combining high expectations with empathy and communication, it helps children develop into well-rounded individuals. This allows them to become confident, resilient, and capable of forming healthy relationships.
Though it requires effort and patience, the benefits of this parenting style are immense. This makes it a worthwhile investment in your child’s future. Remember, parenting is not about perfection. Instead, it is about striving to provide the love, guidance, and opportunities your child needs to thrive.
Once you adopt authoritative parenting, you will be able to provide your child with the tools to navigate life’s challenges. This will pave the way toward a lifelong bond built on respect and trust.
